Mr Tony Saves More Worlds
Isn’t Mr Tony the most wonderful person who ever existed?
He brought Britain out of the Dark Ages of poverty and misery and made it into a thriving, thrusting young nation of undiluted happiness and economic supremacy and when he steps down from the pinnacle of power, he does not take even one day’s rest before he is off to bring peace to the Middle East.
However, no sooner has he left Grumpy Gordon Brown in chage and ruining running things than we learn how clever Mr Tony has been protecting us from terrorism all these years and not provoking attacks at all. As soon as Tony Blair, Britain’s first celebrity Prime Minister, the beloved one of the world, takes his eye off the ball, we have unexploded car bombs left parked all over the country and bungling suicide bombers clumsily driving their cars into airport buildings. Crumpled Boredom Brown will never scare off the terrorist threat like smart and shiny Mr Tony, when he kept us all safe in our beds.
Still, Tony Blair saved Britain and now he has to go and save Israel and Palestine. Quite frankly, could anyone imagine a better man for the job? Or any other job on earth? No, you couldn’t.
Mr Tony is simply the most brilliant person the world has ever seen: so dashing and handsome and with such a wonderful and razor-sharp mind.
Hurrah for Mr Tony and thrice hooray!
(PS Some people, I have been told, think Mr Tony is a complete and utter tosser. This is nonsense, of course. He is, if not exactly a king amongst men, certainly a president of the calibre of the great George W Bush The Lesser).
News On The Ground
Q: When is that little shithead Blair finally fucking off?
A: I thought the lying little tosspot had already gone.
No, no, NO! We are lucky enough to have the pleasure of Mr Tony looking after us for a few more days yet. Enjoy!
Not any more - the shitbag has slithered off to make a mess of things elsewhere.
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