Official: MPs Would Rob Taxpayers Blind, Given The Chance

Posted on February 9, 2008
Filed Under Politics |

The leeches and bloodsuckers who make up the assortment of otherwise unemployable has-beens and no-hopers of the mother of all Parliaments cannot be trusted with knowing how much their pilfering allowances might be, for fear that they would not be able to control their own lust for money, it has been revealed by one of their own number.

Commons finance chief Andrew Walker, in refusing to say what an MP could spend on one item an still get away with it, said: “My concern is that if we say the maximum price it will become the going rate.”

It is quite possible, therefore, that the tin of baked beans which MPs can buy with public money could, despite being available for between about 15 and 55 new pennies in a variety of shops, be claimed for to the tune of £249.99, as MPs are not required to submit a receipt for items valued at below 250 squid.

How many times a week can MPs make these spurious claims for non-existent expenditure at just below 250 pounds sterling? Nobody seems to have asked and probably nobody knows, but Andrew Walker admits that a system of oversight, checks and balances is not actually there at all.

“You don’t check they have actually spent the money on what they say they have spent it on - you just check the paper trail.”

We all know that MPs are not the cleverest people around, but perhaps somebody needs to tell this particular incompetent that if there is no need to offer a receipt, the paper trail goes pretty cold before it even starts.

But you knew that they are not really interested in controlling their own fleecing of the taxpayer, didn’t you? Whatever enquiry Michael Martin and his mates set in motion, you can be sure that it will conclude that everything is above board and satisfactory, but also noticing - quelle surprise! - that MPs are actually severely underpaid and need extra buckets of taxpayer swag to soften their arduous lives.

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